


If Atlas falls, I'll rise up and carry us all the way

by historyofbellarke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 7x12 spec, Canon Universe, Everyone is tired, F/M, My First AO3 Post, One Shot, Short One Shot, bellamy hears the radio calls, canon through 7x11, levitt is tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25907683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/historyofbellarke/pseuds/historyofbellarke
Summary: 7x12 spec. Bellamy sees Clarke's memories - including the ones Clarke tried most to keep hidden. He sees and hears the radio calls.Will it be enough to bring her Bellamy back?
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 21
Kudos: 121





	If Atlas falls, I'll rise up and carry us all the way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [changingthefairy_tale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/changingthefairy_tale/gifts).



> A/N - This is my first fanfic on here and it is unbeta'ed and I haven't reread it. If I do, I will chicken out and not post it.
> 
> Title from "Atlas Falls" by Shinedown - it always reminds me of Bellamy.

“You're in an endless desert with a vast purple sky. A hand reaches out for your own. Whose is it?”

“Go float yourself.”

They’ve been at this for hours. Levitt is tired and Clarke refuses to give an inch. Octavia had told her how to beat the M-Cap machine and “go float yourself” had become her mantra. Clarke was angry. Clarke was confused. Clarke was just DONE.

“Clarke, please. I don’t want to hurt you. If you don’t give me information, they'll bring in someone who WILL. They want answers and they don’t care if they hurt you. They'll even kill you if that's what it takes to find the key.”

“Go float yourself. Go float yourself. Go float yourself.”

Suddenly, a different voice comes through. "Clarke.” It's deep, gravely, but lacks the emotion she's used to. A pale imitation of how her Bellamy said her name. 

But, it's still his voice that breaks through Clarke’s concentration. Bellamy’s voice causes her to stutter just long enough for m-cap to break through.

Damn him. 

Bellamy’s face immediately appears on the screen, plucked straight from Clarke’s memories. No, no, no, no, no! Clarke’s mind screams. It’s too late. The neural link has been established.

Of course, it’s the memories she’s tried to keep hidden the deepest that come racing out of her.

“Bellamy. It’s been 73 days and I miss you. I miss you all so much. I would give anything to hear a stupid joke right now. I…”

“Day 320, Madi is really sick. She has a fever and I… I’m not sure how to help her. I’m so scared.”

“Day 1,298. We went swimming in the river today and I finally told her about the time the river monster got Octavia’s leg. I thought it might scare her away from the water; but, as always, Madi was braver than I thought. I remember that day coming back with O’s leg torn up. I thought you were going to kill me. But that’s when I learned that you would do anything for your sister. I think that’s when I began to realize you weren’t all bad.”

“It’s day 2,020 and I’m beginning to lose hope that you guys will come back to earth. Did you even make it? Have I been talking to ghosts all this time? I was going to wait until you came home to tell you this but I’m afraid I’ll never get the chance. So Bellamy, if you can hear me… I love you. Please come home. I need you.”

At this last revelation, Clarke finally breaks the neural link but remains firmly strapped to her chair. Bellamy realizes that Levitt has left him alone in the room and he runs to shut off the machine, his mind racing. Clarke’s memories are playing on repeat - each one getting louder and louder in his mind until it’s blocking out all other noise. But all he can focus on is the “I love you.”

Clarke never wanted him to find out this way. Hell, after he came back to the ground and found out he had moved on, she never wanted him to find out at all. She felt silly for holding onto hope all that time.

“Clarke ---” “WHAT?!” she snaps back at him. She feels betrayal down to her very core and she is furiously fighting off tears. She won’t let him see her cry.

“Did you mean it?”

Clarke scoffs. “Of course I did. Not that it mattered in the end. You never heard me and you moved on.” She sounds more bitter than she intended to, but weeks of pent up feelings are beginning to seethe out of her.

Bellamy is still trying to process her memories. He shouldn’t care. He doesn’t care. Loving Clarke was selfish and he had killed too many people for her. Too many people had died so that Clarke could live.

“It’s a lie. You called me every day for 2,199 days and left me to die in the fighting pits. No one could do that to someone they love.”

Bellamy’s voice was beginning to lose its emotionless pitch. It was the first time Clarke had heard something resembling emotions threatening to break through since his return from Etherea. Clarke knew this voice – Bellamy was at war with himself.

Which meant that Bellamy - her Bellamy - was still in there.

“I’m so sorry, Bellamy,” Clarke all but whispers. “I waited for six years for you to come back, for us to be a family again, and I thought you chose that family over Madi and me. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I did love you though. I still love you.”

“Clarke… no. I can’t. I can’t go back. The Shepherd is leading us to a place without war. Without death, without loss ---”

“Without emotions, Bellamy! We did this before, with ALIE. You know that’s no way to live. What is the point of surviving if we turn off what makes us human? The heart and the head, Bellamy. If you fight for a world without those things…. it’s not a world I want to live in.”

“Clarke –” his voice breaks and his tears finally let loose. “I lost you. TWICE. I mourned you for six years and then you were alive again. I had a second chance. I poisoned my sister for you! But before I could do anything, you were taken away again. I can’t… I can’t do it again. I won’t live in a world without you in it – not again. And this, this is how we make that happen.”

“No, Bellamy. It’s not. We will find a way to get to peace, but this isn’t it. Listen to your heart, Bellamy. Truly listen. What is it telling you?”

Clarke watches the emotions war on his face. Bellamy, her Bellamy, is coming back. “Bellamy, I still love you. I always will, no matter what you decide to do.”

And that, that is what breaks him. He immediately unstraps her and she wraps her arms around him, refusing to let go.

Bellamy knows they don’t have much time before they’re discovered. They have to get out of here - so he gently pulls away and throws a lopsided grin her way.

“So what now, princess?"

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments welcome - but please be kind
> 
> Also come yell at me on tumblr 


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